Clouded racing thoughts have consumed my mind for the moment. I'm begging for an escape. Rip out all memories and decisions. Disappear from relations and conversations. Conversations I wish to be meaningless. Crying in my sleep. Screaming out due to the terror you've brought me. Nightmares put into fears of reality.
Subconscious fears I push away. I'm aware of the inevitable outcomes of my mental antics. I desperately yearn for drastic change in surroundings. Being drained of hope for future. All I want is to be by your side. A voice in your head of encouragement and adoration. The only hope I have now is for you. You're giving me something to believe in. I wish so desperately to be by your side. I'm aware of what would happen if you returned. Chaos. I know you're not ready. I just miss you.
Every day I can't help to torture myself. It depresses me the most, the thought of how I should have prevented this! I could have given you so much more! I destroyed your confidence and provided opportunities for anxiety.
This is by far the first time I wish to go back in time.
Only to tell myself what I'm failing to comprehend.
I miss you so much.
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