I had never cried this long in my entire life. I had never been this hysterical to the point of vomit. I had never been indifferent to the fact that they could hear me screaming. I had never wept for so long. I looked down and realized I was grasping my wrist so tightly that my knuckles had turned white. Cigarettes didn't and don't help. Screaming in my sleep. Waking up crying. I've been screaming at random people for the past few and crying spells have never gotten so old. I'm sorry for what I did to you, but I'll never go back. I'm afraid to go to sleep now, night terrors still haunting.
I'm sorry that I'm so fucked up. I'm sorry that my problems aren't big enough for you. I'm sorry that I'm unmotivated. I'm sorry for breaking you. I'm sorry I didn't do the laundry or the dishes or anything else that requires effort. I'm sorry for stealing your cigarettes before you said it was okay. I'm sorry for interrupting your sleep and your health. I'm sorry for being a bitch. I'm sorry for not caring when I know I should. I'm sorry for being so forgetful. I'm sorry for wanting a fantasy. I'm sorry that my standards are set very high. I'm sorry that I'm so picky. I'm sorry that I cried when I was younger when I fell off my bike. I'm sorry that I'm not cool enough for you, because I really do wish I was. I'm sorry for not being smart enough. I'm sorry for not listening to you when you told me what to do. I'm sorry for looking so weird. I'm sorry that you wrapped yourself around my finger, because my finger is not your place for wrapping. I'm sorry that nothing is ever lovely. I'm sorry I'm a shitty writer. I'm sorry for feeling so insignificant.
I'm sorry I don't have a way with words, or women.
I'm sorry I never use my mind. I'm sorry my looks get me everywhere in life, even if I find them unappealing.
I'm sorry that things aren't the way we didn't plan. I'm sorry I don't know how to make this easier. I'm not sorry for apologizing so much.
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