Scatter Brained.

I want to scream, but I wouldn't be loud enough. I want to cry, but it wouldn't last long enough. I want to care, but it wouldn't be real enough.

I hate this with everything I have. I hate who I am, what I've wasted. I cannot feel. I cannot believe. I want you happy, and then rub it in my face. I wish so desperately that you were a changed person. I wish you were who I need. I wish you never became this.

I just want you to love me without on conditions of that I'm a "good person". I wish my life was over already. I'm so fucking tired of expectations and not meeting them. I'm so fucking tired of being a wall for you to lean on.

I don't want to have to live up to something. I don't want to see past all this water. I wish I could move on, and snap back into reality like every one presses me to do. I want to tell them they are wrong. I want to tell them they don't know the meaning. I wish they knew what I remember. I wish they knew that this is hard as shit to deal with.

I wish I could stop fucking crying and grow a pair.

I LOVE MY MOMMMYYYYYYY