I know it's my fault you did this. I know you weren't doing it because you were afraid. You did it for my sympathy. You did it because you want me to care.Well, I do care. I just don't tolerate that. I don't believe for two seconds that you did it because you are afraid or nervous. You wouldn't have done it that many times. I swear to you, I care. I really do. And it breaks my heart to see you do this. It kills me.
You have such a beautiful soul, You know your better than that. You know your worth much much more than that. Now just believe it. Oh wait, it's too late to go back now. You can't change what you did in one hour. You just have to stop. Please, for my sake. For your family's sake. For the fact that you are BREAKING your mother's heart everytime she see's it. How is she going to stop you? How does she know what to do? She feels like she can't protect you, you know that. There are better ways to deal with your shit.
I know you are so much better than you think you are. I know you want me to feel sorry for you. I do, but not in the way you think I do. I honestly feel like I could have stopped you. If I had the ambition. You don't show me how to care.
You will scar.
You have scared us all now.
You have scared us all now.
I know it's going to be good for you to leave.
You will heal there.
I'm so tired of your antics.
It's killing me.
It's killing you.
Where is the girl I used to know? You would have never done this to yourself. You would have never imagined this. I don't know why you think this is the answer.
I've done what you've done. Not to that extent. I hid it from everyone. Because I was ashamed. You boast around shouting it to the world. It makes me sick.
I don't know what I can do. I don't know how to care for you. I don't know how to go about this.
You will heal.
I swear it to you, child.
1 comments:
This is the most amazingly honest poem I've ever read ... and yes sweet child you too will heal. I love you so much Bailey and I know that life is throwing so many curve balls at you right now that you are having a hard time keeping your head above water, but time will heal all wounds not just those in your own heart, but those within your family as well.
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